Or are they just sorry because they can't attend your wedding now? You have already been uninvited, just let bygones be bygones. for months. Having to replace all four tires is no joke. They waited until he went on a trip with them to steal his inhaler. Do they not know how many people die from asthma attacks? . To be clear, her family is filled with horrible bullies. NTA. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! I idolised and adored my father to the point whereby I resented my mother. I would have left a long time ago. Jesus may love them but you dont have to like them. Also when I had no health insurance I almost was literally about to die of the paramedics where a few minutes late then they where. Your fianc is your new family and he deserves better than this. Please keep discussions within the posts of this sub. TPing a house is a prank. Because I'm sure as hell don't think it will stop at the wedding. She wont. Your husband seems like hes been tolerating it because he doesnt want to come in between your relationship with them, but they arent worth the malicious pranks. Your relatives arent funny, they are aggressive and harmful and your fianc shouldnt have to see them ever again, it is on them to realise the seriousness of their behaviour and make amends. I wouldnt invite them either. OP needs to ask her dad what hed think if her future MIL learned she had what could be a fatal allergy to nuts & decided to slip her some to test her womanliness. All these grownass dudes doing this just cannot see they're actually showing everyone how stupid they'd rather be. These arent pranks. Wtf ! I would sue those dumb asses. He could press charges for that. They are all stupid creeps. Are they trying to prove they are better than future hubby? They clearly dont respect you or your ability to choose a partner either. Privacy Policy. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. After a few minutes of raucous razzing, you can hand them a small item and tell them they can remove the straws, taking at first only one regular breath, then back to the straw, then one regular breath, alternating for another 10 minutes. That's a crazy amount of money. if someone going to collage is all they need to get set off on this super insercure episode those are people i would not want to be around. This would have been a dealbreaker for me. They were okay with killing or seriously harming your husband. These men are going to end up killing him. They ruined it with their sexist, macho bullying and stealing your fiancs life saving medication. They've done stuff like forcing him to play chess 4 times in a raw, secretly slashed his tires to see if he'd fix it himself like a man or get help like those "lazy" guys, They'd asked him questions like what joke he'd like to tell his future MIL, his opinions on abortion, jesus, gender equality etc. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. "Family" doesn't mean anything. I would have cut them off after them slashing his tires already. Like Im sorry, who are you? No adult man wants some rando on the internet trying to convince people his name means he's immature or not "man enough". Everyone thinks it's some made up thing just used as an excuse to get out of things. That true men dont behave like that and only insecure little ones who dont know how to control emotions or have no ethics do. Because it sure as hell isn't Earth. I'd be pissed if one of my in-laws slashed them as a "prank". NTA, but if were your fianc I would not marry into your family. And you are most definitely NTA. NTA, and honestly I'd go no contact until they grow the fuck up. Except this case you would be freeing both of you from bullying. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them. They're being mean and trying to downplay it. Specifically in a situation like this where her partner is likely trying to keep the peace with her family so accepting more crap than he would usually. I see this a lot when it comes to autism, so I'm very prone to taking statements like this at face value. NTA. But take my inhaler (if I have it) and you are a problem. You really ought to either go LC or NC altogether. Its your responsibility to make sure your family members are NOT abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks. My dad taught us how to change oil, mom taught us how to change tires, and our entire lives we helped them with home projects as big as installing a pocket door in our old house. They want to live like Neanderthals they can do it elsewhere, not at your wedding. NTA. NTA for uninviting them to the wedding but you are huge AH for not shutting their antics down sooner and continuing to subject Tim to these bullies. I had a fever of 102 by the time he got the boot. It's usually even worse with family. So very, very not normal. Those men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity. Tbh the fact that they did this shows me what kind of character THEY are and honestly, i would have kicked them out aswell. NTA. Not from you though, so NTA. Cut them all out. On of my very adult colleagues is called "Timmy" by everyone, and if you call him "Tim" he'll (nicely) correct you. NTA by far. Rejecting feminine things like healthy social connections literally shortens their lives. But Tim is a Saint he has put up with that bullying. Toxic masculinity all over this story. Theyre both so young. You're lucky Tim is tje guy he is. I wouldve called it quits way before the inhaler incident. I bet the pranksters are anti-vaxxers too. And if I were you, I'd take a real close look at the abuse they've subjected you to. I dont know what they intend to prove but they only proved they are mean AH. 8.6K views, 64 likes, 0 loves, 68 comments, 3 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Reddit Addiction: AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Bygones my ass! One of the few perks of being an adult, is choosing who stays in your life, and comes to your dinner table. Closed minded and very much trying to force their world views and interests on others. Throughout high school I didn't live with my mom or spend much time with her, which I feel bad about now. As this is NOT normal male behavior. Doesn't make him soft, The men in your family are obviously deeply insecure, if they feel the need to hide someone's medicine so they can get one over on the "college kid". This!!! As a guy, this is beyond "toxic masculinity". Your bf seems very chill and must love you very much to have put up with treatment like that. A part of me wants you to send that guy flowers with a card that says "Sorry for your loss." These aren't pranks, these are attacks. I'm betting it's the latter, and I don't blame you for not wanting them there. Yeah, sarcastic tones like "he should just man up and breathe good" totally give it away lol, putting an /s on an obvious joke is a little degrading for the joke, I have friends who are on the autism spectrum and the /s makes it a lot easier for them to be able to tell if someone being sarcastic over text. Also tell your mom you didn't ruin the relationship, they did with their attitude and nobody else gets a say, your decision is final and they have to be "man enough" to accept the consequence of their childish actions. Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. Id agree theres a clear pattern of disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around why OP would let them take him camping. NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. NTA - those things might be what they do to test people but it isn't what "men do". Or he leaves her, and her family continues driving away every decent person until she finally ends up with someone as abusive as they are. NTA ! And these pranks and challenges are NOT typical men stuff. After that she got really jealous of my relationship with my. What did they expect to accomplish? of abuse? What if OP has a child who wants to go to collage. Prank them back by telling them they can come to the wedding and then deny them entry at the door. Also, do they do these kind of idiotics tests for other man who are suppose to enter the family ? Op's SO is much more patient than mine would be. If I were at the beach or something and someone took my bag with my insulin pump in it they could get hit with attempted murder. You dont realize its abuse until it's to late. NTA, they literally could have put his life at risk over a stupid prank. NTA. I might have bailed by now. OP How do you not see that these people are psychopaths?! OP I think your family needs to sit down with a therapist. Wow, what the fuck?? These men need help. This was DANGEROUS. Maybe see what your cousin has to say (BC the nature of his panicking, it might be that he wants to genuinely apologise, at least that's how I've read it,) but as far as I'm concerned you'd be better cutting them all off. YNTA. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. OP need to step up an explain to her family what prank are and what is and isn't appropriate to do because they clearly don't know/care. Fun, but definitely dont do this. Let mom know your full feeling and the risks they took. I hate when people say "this joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm tag!". You continued to expose your fiance to this bullshit and not call a hard stop to it. I absolutely hate when doctors don't warn you about a scary possibility like that. Their little prank couldve cost your fianc his life. acts against the man you claim to love. No fun indeed. You should cut them off. I know at least two adult males who go by Timmy lmao. Being in a good mood I went on a websearch to add some examples of that having happened. But you and your fiance know it could have easily been fatal. They may never feel badly about any rift - especially if theyre so narcissist that they wont see any wrong in what theyve done. On their side it's just righteous indignation. Imagine if he had - oh, is it funny to face a murder charge for hiding an inhaler? I agree that OP never thought it was okay. Especially men with small minds that have a lot of toxic masculinity going on. Bullies are going to bully, but at least if you elope, they won't have the opportunity and no one else will be asking you where your dad and brother are. Stay away from them forever. All they're doing is alienating you and your man from the rest of the family. He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. Then NC. They are abusive, this is one of the worst examples of toxic masculinity I have ever come across. By the time the ambulance got to me they said my skin was super grey and if my blood oxygen level dropped any lower I I most likely would have died. They will do something worse to pay you back on your wedding day. What kind of impression of themselves are they trying to make here? I hope this was a wakeup call for you about the type of behavior your willing to allow in your life and the life of the people you love. For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating? Just look at the way talk about him! OP is NTA for what she is asking about, but how on earth was the tire stunt not the line drawn in the sand? Uninviting them to the wedding is the least thing, they're just going to retaliate for their whole lives. He needs that to live! No, Tim: No, you wouldnt. I have a sister 18f that got married to her highschool sweetheart. My junior and senior years of high school they had my two younger half-brothers and my stepdad forced me to drop out of all extracurriculars so I could take care of them after school which severely hurt my chances of scholarships. Thats some psycho shit. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. NTA. Dont let them go to your wedding. i suppose it could be possible, but she wanted to go with me up until she got better seats. Hiding an asthmatic's inhaler is cruel. This is not pranking, its cruel bullying and taking away your fiancs inhaler could have had deadly consequences. Very NTA. OP, the men in your family are the living definition of toxic masculinity. Nta. if something is destroyed or someone gets hurt (regardless of intention) then it is not a prank. Yes but then he wouldn't seem MANLY to them and wouldn't have PROVEN himself if he couldn't go fix ALL 4 tires BY HIMSELF. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. Tires aren't free. Glad you're moving on. He should get them all charged. If you dont do something, youre going to lose him. They are a bunch of nasty men and they have created the wedge with their ridiculous behaviour. Cut these toxic shits out of your life before they kill someone. Honestly, it is astounding that Tim is still with LW. OP this is the path your male family members are headed down. These are the intensifyingly cruel acts of a mob towards someone they view as an outsider. and it would be lost if theyre banned from the wedding. It should've been stopped long before this. Wtf did I even just read. Dont just erase them from your wedding, yeet them from your life. These arent pranks. No adult man named Tim wants to be called Timmy. AITA for telling my (step)dad that his kids are not welcome in my life ever again? Think of your incredible fianc. And op's mother is part of the problem, asking Op to "be the bigger person". Your husband shouldn't have to deal with them ever again and you don't want that toxic masculinity around your future kids. I would stick to not inviting them. Also if she had to beg and beg for you to go with her she may have assumed you didn't want to come and she was relieving you of a burden when she cancelled. Typical snowflakes if you ask me. They are criminals acts and dangerous abuse. Or messes with someones health as a prank? Privacy Policy. This post made me so mad. Asthma can kill and as someone with asthma not knowing where my emergency inhaler is can cause anxiety as I may need it to save my life. Slashing tires, hiding medications? My parents pride themselves on being do-it-yourself. Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. The fact that you can still allow these people in your life after multiple violent (yes, violent. Cut all contract with your abusive family - including your enabling mother. Exactly. You don't have to invite people to your wedding that are negative. It was them saying theyd apologize if OP insisted for me. ETA except Tim. why would you even want to remain family with a bunch of hazing, assaulting assholes? I wonder what they would do if OP was engaged to a big dude with anger issues. Id tolerate an event with lots of people where they were there but I didnt have to speak to them. My dad is technically my stepdad but he is the only dad I have ever known. What awful people. There's something wrong with anyone who considers vandalism like slashing tires a prank. Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. You should have stopped this at the very least when they slashed his tires, but even before then, the idea that they need to test his manliness is infantilizing, misogynistic, and toxic as hell. Things only got crazier when my dad and his wife eloped behind everyones backs and i found out about it on Facebook and then for years now has told me that its my fault they didnt have a wedding. NTA seriously don't let them come to the wedding this is disgusting behavior they are bullies. what if he needed his inhaler? Op is young and grew up with this, I dont fault them for not knowing better but the lesson here is its okay to stop talking to abusive people even if their family. Also- are they actually sorry for what they did? I feel good because after years I have finally set a boundary for myself but I also feel sad because I always imagined my dad being there on my special day. "Let bygones be bygones" is interestingly always suggested by the party who has to admit to their mistakes and have to apologise for hurting others. Asthma can be lethal, especially in a wilderness situation like camping. Im surprised Tim didnt break up with her over it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. NTA you family sounds exhausting. Your mother is enabling the behavior by dismissing it and insisting you let it go. Your male relatives are a perfect example of toxic masculinity. Who carrys 4 plug kits? At my birthday they got me a PS5 last year and a new Xbox this year. But not to everyone. NTA OP, Stick to your guns. They're just bullying your fiance because they don't like him I assume. These are no pranks, this is bullying. What they did was incredibly stupid. Sounds like your family is jealous that he's college educated. NTA. Youre a bad girlfriend. i cant blame OP because she is too young, she cant probably go no contact with them and the fiance would be in worse situations after the wedding. Imagine your sons having to bear such insane behavior from grown men. Are you American? Her family, her responsibilty. I have asthma and reading that gave me chills. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. NTA. And honestly? I'd have noped out much sooner no matter how much I liked a guy. NTA go no contact over those AH. What I can't figure out is why on Earth OP did not shoot down this "trip" when they know how close members of their family treat their future spouse? YTA to let these pranks happen to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the pranks happen? Once upon a time I went to Vegas with my boyfriend and I thought it would be hilarious to tell all of my friends that I got married while I was there. I know an 18 year-old who died from asthma. English? He should know better. He's not too weak to do it, he's too polite and it isn't his place. I'm 33 M and I recently went back to college for a BFA. I feel so bad for him and am honestly surprised hes still with you. They will seek out and tell a woman and will hope that woman will intercede on their behalf with a male boss/authority figure/doctor, but they will avoid going to the male authority figure themselves even when death is on the line. They committed at least one crime. They seem to have missed the point in their fun that their attempts to test your partner will also have shown him what kind of people they are! Do not invite them to the wedding and time to go no contact. Today the victim is your fiance. Their own insecurities are on full display. We know our own families and how to handle them already, so it just makes sense. This guy should dump her and her toxic family and marry in to a family of decent human beings. OP's tolerance of her family's antics until the inhaler "challenge" puts her damn near in enabler territory. This. They are nothing but bullies. Not that I'd hold out much hope for that. Honestly, your family is dangerously abusive and toxic. She let them slash his tires? AHs are still AHs. If not, they really should be smarter than that. Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. The opposite in fact. Your family sounds toxic as fuck. Men don't do this. If someone pushes waaay too far after being told to stop many times, they need to face the consequences of their actions. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again. I hope that they see the error of their ways and apologized to Tim but until then, I guess you might have to go no contact. What if he had an asthma attack whilst driving back to you. They all sound like the very worst the patriarchy has to offer and the fact that you are still in regular contact with them and subject the man you love to their dumb bullying is worrisome, to say the least. I definitely would have pressed charges. Who stands up for what is right? Its way past any reasonable persons definition of acceptable and moved straight to harassment. The slashed tires should have been the end of it. So, NTA, and you're totally right in cutting them off. Cut ties with them and get them to pay for damages. If someone slashed my tires they are paying or i am calling the police.the men in your family are immature bullies. NTA and I would've called the cops for the slashed tires. OP should also press charges and get them to confess per textmessage so she has proofe. My dad (50 M) and I (24 F) have had a complicated relationship. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. She's not an asshole for being related to shitty people. Its not a feeling I would wish on anyone! I think you all let it go to far before you stood up for him. "Like real men. OP should have stopped them long ago. Well it's not like the asthma is real anyway, so why would he really need it? They already didn't respect op fiance and are the huge asshole but why asking him to go on a trip with them when they show multiple time how awful they are. You're TA for continuing to subject your furnace to them. NTA. OP needs to drop the family or drop the fiancee, because you can't have a healthy loving relationship with someone while being complicit in them being abused. It's their property". live happily now :). Never invite them back. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. These aren't pranks. It eventually got sorted but seriously, what was the point? Or messes with someones health as a prank? Strength is setting boundaries, power is enforcing those boundaries. Slashing someones tires is NOT a prank! The man could have died or faced serious injury without that inhaler. Let her tell dad and let him digest that. Your family is the king of gaslighting. Youre NTA for uninviting them but you may be TA for letting your family take the disrespect are far as they have and then downplaying their actions. NTA. It's not up to OP to "not let this ruin her relationship with her family.". Sorry youre going through this OP. Someone questioning their own sanity and ability to differentiate between harmful bullying and harmless Pranking. Hi! If youre having children, what will these men do to them, particularly if you have Tims son? What they have done to him is downright CRIMINAL. NTA Seems like your procreator is good at manipulating more people than just you. NTA. . 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